Presmurdu - Pakistani Urdu Forum | urdu shayari | Urdu Islam | Design Urdu Poetry
Aslam-O-Alekum
mhotram guest ager ap www.presmurdu.com k member hain tu yahan sa login hun....
ager ap member nahi hain tu yahan sa ap humara es forum ma Register ho sakta hain.......




















Share
View previous topicGo downView next topic
avatar
Superiour Member
 Superiour Member
Fine
Posts Posts : 2005
Rep Points Rep Points : 1896
Thanks Thanks : 35
Age Age : 26
300 / 999300 / 999
1 / 1501 / 150
Gender : Male
View user profile

default JOKS COLLECTION

on Thu Jul 22, 2010 8:11 pm

Aik Larka Apni Girlfriend se milne gaya, Woh chaye(Tea) bananay chali gai.
.
Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar,
.
Larky ne Socha k chalo dekhte hain Mera Number is ne kis naam se save kya hai?
.
Dear, Sweetu ya Jaanu.
.
Jab Usne Missbell di to Screen pe Likha aa raha tha...
.
"Murgha No.5" Calling.......

_____________________________



amrica janay ka tareeqa
1 admi baba g say:
Baba g amrica jana chahta hoon magar kam nahee ban raha
baba g :
Rozana suraj niklnay k bad 300 bar "al-qaida" parha karo, amrica walay khud aa kar lay jain gay


______________________________


Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no

______________________________


Girl : Do you love me?
Boy : Yes Dear.
Girl : Would you die for me?
Boy : No, mine is undying love.

______________________________


Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football
and the game went into extra time

______________________________


Ek Shaadi Mein Dulhan ka Pehla
Mangetar b saj Dhaj K aaya huwa tha
Kisi ne poocha k kaya aap Dulha hain?
Us ne kaha G Nahi Main Semi Final Mein he Out Ho gaya Tha.
Final Dekhne Aya Hoon.

______________________________


Bhikhari : Saab 1 rupaya de do.

Saheb : Kal aana.


Bhikhari :

Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon
Rupaye fase huye hain.

______________________________


A dad walks into a market with his young son. The kid is holding a
Ruppe coin.

Suddenly, the boy starts choking and gasping for breath. The dad
realizes the boy has swallowed the coin and starts panicking, shouting
for help.

A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue
business suit is sitting at a Tea stall in the market reading her
newspaper and sipping a cup of Tea.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her Tea cup down
on the saucer, neatly folds the newspaper, places it on the counter,
gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the market.


Reaching the boy, the woman carefully takes hold of the boy's testicles
and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After
a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the coin, which
the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy, she
hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the Tea stall
without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the
father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've
never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are
you a doctor?"


"No," the woman replied, "I work for the Income Tax Dept."


______________________________


He says, "Doctor, I need something for my eyes. I can't see well these days". The doctor fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks.

The snake comes back in 2 weeks, and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

The doctor says, "What's the problem? Didn't the glasses help you?"

"The glasses are fine doc. I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!

______________________________



Girls V/S Grown Women


Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits

**********
Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

**********
Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

**********
Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

**********
Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

**********
Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

**********
Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

**********
Girls try to monopolize all their man's time ( I.e., don't want him hanging with his friends).
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends!

**********
Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.


**********
Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.


**********
Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.

**********
Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends".

_____________________________



TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?


PAPPU : "HIJKLMNO! "!!


TEACHER : What are you talking about?


PAPPU : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

____________________________


TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell "crocodile"?


PAPPU : "K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L"


TEACHER : No, that's wrong


PAPPU : Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

___________________________


TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with "I".


PAPPU : I is...



TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, "I am."


PAPPU : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

___________________________


TEACHER : "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE? "


PAPPU : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.

___________________________


A man went to an insurance office to have his life insured the other day.

"Do you cycle?" the insurance agent asked.

"No," said the man.

"Do you motor?"

"No."

"Do you, then, perhaps, fly?"

"No, no," said the applicant, laughing; "I have no dangerous—"

But the agent interrupted him curtly.

"Sorry, sir," he said, "but we no longer insure pedestrians."


_____________________________

View previous topicBack to topView next topic
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum